I never really had a lot of friends. Maybe because I do not trust in people, maybe because the world does not trust me. Anyway, my few friends mean everything to me. I am a person who consider loyalty to a friend above everything. Any secret, any painfull comment, any bad new, is under my loyalty feeling.
And unfortunately, each day you realise that those few friends are less, day by day. If you do something good for them, they will come back it bad. If you take physical risk for them, the will ignore you. If you take social risk for them, the will betray you... And so so so on. Finally you feel that it not worth to carry on. And you stay alone.
I do not like to fuck up people, really. Everything I do has just a good finality. Not for everybody, but to someone I think he deserves help for someone. When I can be that person I try to carry on, assuming all the consequences. But when your effort is not reconised, and not only that, but they turn against you, you can only say:
FUCK PEOPLE. BETTER STAY ALONE.